…but i HATE the fact that fuckface’s mother missed her abortion appointment 26 years ago.
i’m attempting to move this week. hasn’t been as smooth a process as i would like. as i said before, Alex is a horrible procrastinator. like…pitifully so. THAT, my beloved nutsacks and bleeders, is my tragic flaw. (dramatic sigh) all of this frustration is multiplied by the fact that fuckface (the crackish college student/dancer/dickwarmer) that I rent from is FINALLY back from college. my goal was to be gone before he showed his night terror-inducing mug around these parts. again, i was already convinced my first week here that we could not occupy the same space.
and he proved my theory correct. again. lemme splain.
(cue dream sequence music )
after days of endlessly searching craigslist, the internet, and EVERY classified ad printed in the state of new york in hopes of finding a new apartment, i spent the entire night packing and bullshitting on the computer. awake. not sleep. i had an early appointment to view a place and figured i could work best if i just…went straight through the night. no biggie. morning came. still awake. saw the place, LOVED it. the other two roommates are dancers. the apartment is two blocks from where my father grew up. the block was quiet, clear, and consisted mainly of 2-4 family houses. no crackheads in sight. no public lover’s quarrels. no stray cats meowing in agony for hours on end. no pissy hallways. the TOTAL opposite of my current environment, where I avoid doped out, toothless jamaicans and duck insurgent missiles. AYE COÑO!
the apartment definitely falls within my price range…and….the guy who’s room i’d be occupying…is…muy fuckable very cool. we spoke for a while: he’s also from virginia, also a dancer, also thinks that living near white people = safety. we totally clicked, i thought. and i could see myself in this space for a few months.
upon departing, i got that whole “well i have two other people coming to see the place, so i’ll let you know by friday” thing. whatevers. who else SHOULD have that room, but ME!?!??
anywho, after that, dealing with incompetent islanders at Uhaul, more incompetency and blatant miscommunication at the storage facility, and being awake for thirty hours, all i wanted to do is sleep.
i circled the block fifty-leven times looking for a spot for this stupid ass Uhaul truck. then died in bed for a few hours.
THIS fothermucker comes in just as i awoke, tombout:
“so….yea. the apartment people are coming tomorrow morning to inspect the apartment between 10 and 12:30. and….nobody can be here. so…”
sidenote: my room is STILL full. the moving just DIDN’T happen today.
“are you going to help me move before ten…..?”
and i rolled back over to sleep.
then i jumped up to write this.
i hate HATE hate this dude, y’all. and to make myself feel better, i think i shall play ashanti in his room while he sleeps.
so i can melt his brain.
….this just popped into my head: mother, may i shoot him in the face??
that made me chuckle.
i’m over this day. i’m going back to snore.