Category Archives: Dance

monday morning commentary.

it’s been quite some time since i’ve done a “randomness” blog, so…dammit, here goes:

tonight, on my way home from work, i walked up on a drag queen with his/her skirt up around his/her waist examining and readjusting his “tuck”…on the subway platform. he/she even fell out of character and resorted to the standard man’s nut grab/shift/grimace…while on the subway platform.  judging by his/her face, he/she had a HARD night. either the money wasn’t flowing like it normally does or that nasty bitch Miss Sasha Dereon stole his/her knee pads again. bitch! even in my earlier days of cavorting and associating with dragons, i’ve NEVER seen anything leading up to the final product. seeing a drag queen without wig, makeup, and dick tucked is like spotting mommy without her bra…it’s sinful! and a little bit yuck yuck. you’re just supposed to see the end result. never the “before”. good times, indeed.

you know what i LOVE? vegetarians who decide to take their monkey asses to barbecue restaurants (let’s say…mine, for instance) demand ridonkulous shit like “tofu ribs” and “pulled imitation chicken sandwiches”, claim nausea at the sight or smell of meat, and expect to NOT get the worse service ever, a swift, double-handed throatchop or…at the very least least, attitude major. i love people who complain that their “fries have been fried in the same grease as chicken or some other meat. i cant taste it.” …..and then have the NERVE to ask if we can make vegetarian chilli (which we DO offer), but without the sauce.”the answer is “no. fuck you.” do you also want your maccaroni and cheese without the “and” too? fuckface. THAT is what i love.

i had to have a tear-inducing (not on my part–i’m not no punk ass pussy ass cryin’ ass bitch) conversation with a good friend that was long-overdue. months even. this particular friend has had a string of bad luck due (in whole) to some bad choices and awful prioritizing, partnered with, honestly, a horribly spoiled upbringing. this friend has a habit of fishing for compliments, attention and concern with vague, question-prompting, pity-generating statements like “Ohhhhh, (big sigh) my life….”, “_____ is sad…”, “you won’t believe what happened to me today…”

and alex doesn’t feed into that bullshit. i know this person VERY well. and we’ve grown apart as of late, a little. rather than indulge these UNsubtle ass attempts for pity, I just ignore it all. i refused to be one of the dozen jerks that responded to melancholy ass facebook statuses. i turned the other way whenever i saw a guilt trip coming. i downplayed drama when confronted with shit like, “oh…i…thought that with all of what i told you yesterday, you’d call and check on me.”

me: “oh….nah, you’re okay.”

i just…have an issue with that. if you need help, ask for it. that was the general tone of our conversation: “nobody cares.” i had to convey to him that i am not ALWAYS a dick, but i have my own fucking problems to deal with. okay, you can’t find a job, money’s low, the guy’s you like keep playing you to the left, you’re gaining weight and have an addiction problem. i’m sorry to hear that. but…i’ve got my own issues, jerk. thanks for asking.

it’s just hard to convince someone who’s used to worlds stopping and wallets opening at the smallest sign of distress that, after a while…people get tired of catering to you. i did. shouldn’t have to. and i won’t. so, get it together. life sucks, but overall…nobody cares. my shit stinks too, my friend..and nobody’s helping ME clean it up.

anywho, it felt good to get all of that off my chest with him. he cried. i drove the point home any way i could: i used to have a dance company. danced DOWN 9 days a week. created a handful of amazing pieces of work. acclaim. awards. fans. haters. when i was 18. now? nobody cares. what have i done lately? THAT’s what matters. Him: had a car. a decent job. money was no issue. was young, cute, skinny and “in love.” had lot’s of material shit to “show for his work.” now? not so much…on all accounts. the gotcha-gotcha? nobody cares. get it together bitch.

still love ya, though.

took my first breaking class this week. breakdancing is something i’ve always admired, but never dared to try. i figured i’d look crazy. it turns out, for my first class, i didn’t look totally nuts. the uprock and foot work (everything that happens BEFORE you hit the ground) is fairly easy. the basic, fundamental moves (six step, four-step, CC’s, freezes, etc.) will definitely take work. the homeboy Cory (former Grüvment member, dancing for Hannah Montana currently) is a beast and gave me some pointers…i’ll keep you updated on my progress with that. when i DON’T look crazy, i shall post vids down the road.

i’ve fallen in love with dance again. the necessary spark: the choreographer’s carnival a few weeks back. the choreographer’s carnival is a show by and for dancers and choreographers. dancers and choreographers get a few minutes of total freedom to express themselves on stage without the influence of movie and music video directors, record labels, or difficult artists. a chance to shine in the foreground in front of peers rather than as an afterthought or as an unappreciated part of someones show. this show justifies my HATE for the term “background dancer.” we are not plants, scenery, or props. in many cases, dancers are entirely responsible for a untalented artist’s appeal…without them, they’d have and be nothing (Rihanna, anyone?).

Anywho…back on track here, I promised myself that, even if I don’t submit a piece of my own, I WILL at least dance at the next Carnival in the spring. I’ve been around this scene long enough. shit NEEDS to happen. I’m not getting younger and all the waaaaaaack people from last year are all now dope as fuck (most of them). Alex needs to catch up. i have my eye on a few choreographers i’d LOVE to dance with. i need not say who…i’ll just make sure they notice my ass. dammit.

okay. it’s 2:21. this blog took ENTIRELY too long to write. more later.

off to bed. tata.




randomness #43

realization: since moving to new york, choreography “comes” to me most frequently on the train. i’ve noticed that i am able to focus more while blasting music, blocking out bums, black kids, and bad weaves that were sent to destroy my soul (the devil is alive!…anyway…). i’ve overcome my self-proclaimed “choreography block” and opened the floodgates. today, i went into the studio with andre…and he learned what i’m working on for one of my favorite songs of the moment, madonna’s “4 minutes” featuring justin timberlake. good times. twas VERY productive and i’m really excited to get a few dancers on board and film the routine. i should be able to have video online shortly. still exploring the endless possibilities for angles, positioning, lighting, etc. again…all VERY exciting. in addition to this song, there are about 5 others that i’m dying to choreograph and film. biggest forseeable challenge: male dancers. boo. i’ll cross that bridge when i get there….for now? off to read and workout. more to come…..

a walk down memory lane…to the toilet.

so…last night, andre and i spent the evening looking at ooooooold dance videos. i found a tape of gruvment’s first competition from 43 years ago.


though we were untrained, we were insanely precise and…”together”. i’m sure rehearsing 9 days a week had something to do with it. we were 15-17 at the time, and rehearsed in school hallways, mall parking lots, crosswalks, school auditoriums, exercise rooms, back yards, kitchens, garages, cramped dens, food courts, emergency rooms, and abortion clinics. ANYWHERE. at the time, we didn’t think we’d need jazz and ballet training to be successful…we thought our love for dance would be enough to help us make it. like uninformed kids today, we thought that we could take a few classes and end up on stage with janet. ha!

 i also found random rehearsal videos, where i worked on bits of incomplete choreography. observing my creative process from two to three years ago is quite inspiring. then, my focus was unmatched. my dedication unwavering. i hadn’t been exposed to the real world of dancing and was still fearless; enviably confident in my ability. oh, to be young again.

…the memories are countless. and old videos are VERY humbling. inded. but what’s important is what i did AFTER we watched these videos. after taking a trip to mcdonalds for some good ol’ nuggets ‘n fries, alex spent the night vomiting up pink, uncooked “chicken”. GOOD FUCKIN’ TIMES. shout out to De’quandelay-Na’Shaw’n who did his thing on the deep fryer. YOU, sir, are yet another demonstration of my pro-abortion stance. fuck you very much.

ck comes into town tomorrow. dance. tours of the city. club. good times.

off to have a semi-produtive day before work.